Posted by: scintillatingspeck | November 29, 2012

Nowhere to hide.

Do you ever feel like you have stepped, or been pushed, off a cliff and are sailing through the air, astonished at the speed and sense of panic, waiting to hit the ground?  How about feeling like you have lost your fucking mind?  Or in the process of either of those, feeling a curious sense of aliveness and dread?  No?  Okay, then, you can just stop reading now.

If I haven’t lost you yet, you have my condolences for accompanying me on this vertiginous journey.  I understand.

These days I have literally nowhere to hide.  Guy McPherson is here, since I invited him, and I’ve been hosting and accompanying him on his speaking tour here in Massachusetts.  He is sleeping upstairs as I write this (or not sleeping, as the case may be).  Previous readers of my blog may recall that I have guest blogged for him several times in the past (at Nature Bats Last) and that his inflammatory messages have had quite an effect on me.  From what I’ve observed, at the seven speaking engagements of his in the past two days, he tends to have quite an effect on most people.  Eyes as big as dinner plates, audible gasps, disbelief, bargaining, snarky remarks, the works.  People demand answers, want to be told what to do in the face of such dire news, how to respond, how to feel, how to cope.  How could there ever be an adequate answer?  There are no adequate answers now.

I don’t have a way of avoiding the thoughts that he inspires.  When I read his words electronically, it’s very different from talking to him face to face, or observing him talking to an audience.  Well, duh, obviously.  I’m glad he’s here, I wouldn’t have it any other way, but man, I’m challenged, I am.

It was challenging, for example, when I accompanied him to a radio interview at WMUA at UMass today, and found myself invited to also participate in the hour-long show.  That was unexpected.  Allegedly, I didn’t sound stupid when I did speak (although thankfully Guy did most of the talking).  Nowhere to hide, I’m telling you.

It’s challenging, too, when you are spending time with someone who is absolutely, unconditionally committed to truth-telling.  It inspires truth-telling in turn.  And then before you know it you’ve created a giant rolling snowball of truth crashing down the hillside.  That’s what this blog is all about now, really, since October.  I am compelled to keep shooting my mouth off (or keep my fingers flying on the keyboard) to everyone, about everything.

In case there was any doubt, yes, I think my “civilized” mind is in the process of being eradicated, and is being replaced by a sonorous animal chorus of authenticity that demands to be voiced.  It literally blows my mind.  It’s astonishing.  You can feel free to call me a lunatic; I don’t mind.

There isn’t time to leave things unsaid anymore.




  1. Interesting journey you (and we) are all on now. It is most fascinating to watch audience reactions to Dr. McPherson.

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