Posted by: scintillatingspeck | December 15, 2012

Shattered safety.

Another mass killing spree yesterday, and it hits so (literally) close to home: children, in New England, slaughtered.  SIX-YEAR-OLDS.  The very icons of innocence and promise, so similar to my own child, murdered, their beautiful little lives stolen from them, their families and communities left screaming, shattered, devastated.

I don’t know a single person who doesn’t find this unbearable.

I tend to avoid the mainstream media, with its distortions and mind-colonizing trickery.  I can tell from friends’ Facebook posts what the dominant conversations are about now: changing policies on gun control, funding for mental health services, a whole lot of head-shaking and statements like “how could this happen?” “I can’t believe this,” “why does this keep happening?”  I can’t stand it.  I can’t engage at this level.

I can’t talk about gun control when in my heart, all I wish is that I could have been in that school, a gun in my hand, shooting the murderer myself, so that those kids and adults could have lived.  Or desperately wishing that someone, anyone, could have shot him, could have had the preparation and presence of mind to recognize what was happening, and the necessary conviction to take immediate action to make him STOP.  I can’t talk about gun control when we live in a nation overflowing with guns, where the very same people who call for gun control are in favor of arming the police and the military, where there is radically insufficient discussion and action on the topic of power and violence, where we condemn individual, garden-variety psychopaths but fail to call out the immense monstrosity of Supreme Psychopathy, the disgusting cultural story of extreme competition and dominance and control at any cost.  Is America still Number Fucking One now?  Those beloved American children in Connecticut, how are they the slightest bit different from the children who have been slaughtered in the name of “freedom”, in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Syria, Palestine?  Don’t tell me it isn’t the same, twisted story driving these events.

I can’t talk about mental health services, either.  Talk about trying to use a piece of dental floss to reattach severed limbs.  Can we acknowledge that “mental health services” have catastrophically failed?  Can we recognize that all those who have died aren’t coming back?  That this is going to keep happening?  Can we see that it is the height of irresponsibility to say “let’s just turn all the psychopaths over to mental health professionals, who will fix them”?  How are you going to identify the ones who are insane? How about those corporate CEOs: do you see them getting locked up in psychiatric hospitals?  Are you going to ignore the insanity within yourself?  Are you going to perpetuate the idea that there are some who are “sick” and some who are “well”, despite the fact that we’re all marinating in this toxic soup of trauma and disconnection?  How the FUCK are mental health professionals supposed to tackle this and make it all better?  Do you think they have that power?  How are you evading your own responsibility for cultural madness by wanting someone else to fix it?

So you ask, “How could this happen?  Why does this keep happening?”  Sit with that, then.  If you can’t answer it now, you had damn well better learn to answer it.  Don’t go for the convenient answers, either.  Don’t be satisfied.  Don’t scurry to rebuild your shattered sense of safety.  You will hate me for saying that.  I’ll say it again: Don’t cling to your illusions of safety.  If you want answers, you’re going to have to let your guard down.  You’re going to have to root out your assumptions, every last one, turn them over in your hands, and allow yourself to be horrified, astonished, moved.  Wake up.  Do you really, truly believe that you are “too busy” to do this?  What’s it going to take for you to wake up?  Will it take the bullets slaying your own child?  Will it take the gun at your own head?



  1. i want everyone to be equally horrified whenever people are slaughtered no matter where they are on earth, whether they are americans or not. i HATE the way we seem to only care about “american” lives. the horror that the people at that school experienced is what so many people around the world experience every day, at our hand. how would we like it if psychopaths were flying drones over our schools? why can’t we see that we have psychopaths killing children and adults every day, and we are paying them and honoring them for doing so? i am horrified by our relationship to the world and our bullying nature. how is this event in CT so different from how we behave internationally?

  2. NewTown had in one place in one day less than a week’s worth of children murdered (by their parents across the country – five a day.
    “When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away” – John Steinbrck

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