Posted by: scintillatingspeck | December 27, 2012

A place to rest.

Something shifted for me this afternoon.  Maybe it was the exertion of shoveling heavy, wet snow, connecting me to the cold air, my back muscles, my solidly-planted feet.  Maybe it was the catharsis of writing poetry.  Maybe it was the sudden resolve, seemingly arriving from outside of myself, to be rather business-like, to write up thoughts in numbered lists, to pay bills, to plan out and cook a proper dinner, to create tiny pockets of order.  Whatever it was, it arrived like a shot of morphine to dull the pain and bring my mind to a more restful place.

The gyrations of my emotional experience are utterly exhausting.  I’m sure it isn’t over.  I guess I should rest while I have the chance.  Where am I?  What island have I landed on?  It’s only a short reprieve, I know, before I head out into a huge, buffeting gale that I can see clearly ahead.

Rest, then.  Unravel yourself a bit.  The tears will come.  Let them come.  Allow yourself to vividly imagine warm, loving arms around you, arms that will hold you all night, hands that will caress your face as you sink into childlike trust.  Give up the struggle.  Stop thinking so hard.  You are a soft animal, curled around your overtaxed heart; you are meant to rest sometimes.  Surrender to the warmth.  You think it’s not there, but it’s there.

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Responses

  1. Ahhhhh….yes. Times like these. Revel, my dear…

  2. You are meant to rest sometimes. Yes.

  3. And laugh. Don’t forget to laugh. It’s kinda like breathing, only noisier.

  4. So, I was thinking about mentioning feeling the earth – gravity. Feel it as a hug. Feel the pressure of the atmosphere fill you with air each time you make room by exhaling. Feel how it is done for you. Feel how connected you are by the pull of the earth and the gentle push of the air. The dance you make with it. And consider your experience of your anguish as just another symptom of our deep conditioning of separateness that is not true. The anguish will not go away even if you could penetrate this conditioning. It is still just as valid. But your experience of will shift when you remember you are a brilliant thread of this tapestry as am I. What we do, how we love, what we think and speak, all make a difference as the universe unfolds.

  5. Your words here remind me that in Christian worship, there is often a place in the service for the blessing, one to another, “Peace be with you.” It really IS that important, to have been preserved for these 2,000 years. I’m glad you had a moment’s peace. May the moments of that peace last longer and longer, and happen closer and closer together, my friend.


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