Posted by: scintillatingspeck | December 30, 2012

Resolve.

I’m not a fan of resolutions at a fixed point in time.  I think if there are resolutions to be made, they should be made, no matter the time of year.  Resolutions should not be put off for the beginning of the Gregorian calendar, or any calendar.  Life is too damn short to do otherwise.

Nevertheless, my life circumstances have come to a crisis point right at this time, in this culture’s calendar, and seeing as I’m still entangled and held captive in the culture’s greedy hands, I suppose I can play right into this hackneyed tradition and pretend that I’m just another commentator, another earnest idealist yearning to make things right.

Except nothing can be made right.  I am walking among the smashed dreams at the bottom of this cliff, their delicate, crystalline shards shining amid the sharp rocks.

What can I resolve, in truth?  What hubris would it take?  Because it’s hubris, I think, that leads us to thinking there are “solutions,” that that which is insoluble can be made soluble.  Better to resolve in humility, then.

On my knees, then, on the sharp rocks.
What I resolve is to be kind.
What I resolve is to be honest.
What I resolve is to practice forbearance.
What I resolve is to make amends for the damage I’ve caused.
And above all, I resolve, with utmost clarity, to love without restraint.

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