Posted by: scintillatingspeck | April 13, 2013

You may ask yourself.

You may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house?
You may ask yourself, where does that highway lead to?
You may ask yourself, am I right, am I wrong?
You may say to yourself, my god, what have I done?
~ “Once in a Lifetime,” Talking Heads

And after asking yourself all that, perhaps you conclude that you don’t know.  You profoundly do not know, in a way that shocks you with its gravity.  You don’t have an iota of an answer.  The questioning left you untethered and bobbing on the waves, pummeled by winds and tides, holding your head in your hands, wondering if there would be an Answer, blindly groping towards anything solid, please, anything but the implacable, liquid sea.

You could easily bob around in that way until your last breath.  It’s been done.  It’s as worthy a way as any to experience life.

You may ask yourself, though, what if I give up on those answers?  You may ask yourself, how about I take another breath?  You may ask yourself, do I really have anything to lose?  You may ask yourself, when did I start believing I had any control?  You may ask yourself, who taught me to be so serious?

There’s still a sea, you’re still blind, you don’t know shit, and you float on your back, laughing so hard you keep losing your balance and go thrashing into the water, laughing harder now, there’s nothing to hold onto, nothing, and this strikes you as outrageously funny.  Laughter percolates from your toes to the ends of your hair, bubbling through you unstoppably.  You feel a joyous surrender; your limbs have unclenched; everything is just the same, but you are not.  You are ready to laugh until you cry and beyond, until the tears have swirled irrevocably into the vast aquamarine.

Wet as an otter, you are, ready to play in the big, glinting sea.

 

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Responses

  1. lovely, lovely, lovely. :))


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