Posted by: scintillatingspeck | April 22, 2013

Birthday.

I’m 41 years old today.  This latest revolution around the sun, this past year, has been revolutionary indeed for me.

How do I want to remember it?  What parts do I want to hold up and marvel at, shudder at, cherish?  The truth is that every part is likely worthy of marvel, shuddering, and cherishing.  It was a year unlike any other, brimming with contemplation, creative outbursts, lightning bolts of insight, many moments of shattering and heartbreak, examining priorities, grappling with mortality, shimmering with love.  It was a year threaded with white-hot filaments, flaring up day and night, burning away the dross, scorching my skin.

I’m older now, and younger, too.  I’m shedding the deadly seriousness, more and more, in favor of playing with wild abandon, immersing myself in mirthful verse and storytelling, glorying in the most basic elements of joy: sun, rain, touch, laughter, listening, singing, running, receiving wave upon wave of beauty gobsmacking me between the eyes.  It doesn’t erase reality, of course, worlds of suffering and injustice, but this is the soft and musical voice that speaks to me about that:

It’s time to set down the fear and anguish.  The world is still full of that fear and anguish; if you need it, you can claim it again, since it’s not going anywhere.  But you have well and fully explored that landscape of pain.  There will always be a million reasons to feel such pain.  Remember, always: your days are numbered, and this is a joy.  You can choose to freeze up in the face of sensuous Life, or to pull Life towards you by the shoulders, to place your hands on the warm and smiling face of Life, to kiss Life with exquisite and tender and undeniable passion, allowing your lips, your words, your breath to be a conduit for the electric pulse of universal love.  You can lean back and hear Life whisper in your ear:  I’ve got a miracle for you, you shining beauty.  Go on.  Take it.

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Responses

  1. I give thanks for your wild, wonderful life

  2. what a lovely expression of the divine you are, lovely jen ❤

  3. The day is done, the earth has spun, another revolution won


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