Posted by: scintillatingspeck | March 9, 2014

The bend in the river.

I suppose it would be the right thing to do to write an upbeat, celebratory post right now about how my Kickstarter campaign succeeded, how the cross-country quest is most definitely happening, how my book Scattered Sanctum will most definitely be written.  All of that is true.  It’s true that a whole posse of people came together to fund and spread the word about this project.  It’s true that I’ve received more support and encouragement than I imagined possible, to the point of leaving me stunned.  It’s true that I’m grateful, and I’m so looking forward to preparing a post very soon, here on this blog, in which I acknowledge people by name for their support.  It’s true that preparations of all sorts are underway.

Nevertheless, o cherished readers whom I recognize as not separate from me, nevertheless, loves, nevertheless— my heart is sore as sore can be.  And here is my little sacred space, this corner of Indra’s web, and I would desecrate it if I didn’t abide to my commitment to myself: to give myself a voice, to speak with integrity, to honor the emotions, intuitions, realizations, and creations that wash over and through me, whatever they may be.

And right now, where I am in this grand river of existence is a sharp bend, around which I cannot see.  My tenderness is in a little boat, fearful of whitewater, but committed to the inexorable current.  There is pain and light etched into my awareness, and a stone in my pocket, something to hold.  This bend in the river was looming and looming, and finally the current brought me here.

Forgive me if I haven’t fished the necessary words out of the roiling water yet.  They may yet flop into the boat, gasping.



  1. blessings, jen, for your willingness to be real, and elegantly real.

  2. How are you getting your book published?

    • I’ll be self-publishing, Jamie. I’ll be evaluating my options more thoroughly a bit later on.

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